Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Pictures and My Things

So I’m house/pet sitting this week, you know? I’ve decided I really don’t care for it much. It requires so much getting ready for, on my part, and I’m not even going anywhere. It’s like the worst possible vacation. I had to pack up all my daily stuff (including picking out 5 days of work clothes which is completely unheard of for me), clean my house like I’ll be gone for a week, not sleep in my own bed for 8 days and take care of someone elses pets. Plus, my commute time has been increased to 30 minutes instead of 13 minutes. A whole hour of driving compared to 30 minutes. Basically it sucks all around. Wedding shoes...wedding shoes....wedding shoes. That's my motive for doing it.

Anyways, I don’t really like being away from my apartment. My apartment that has pictures of Seth everywhere I look. My apartment where I have memories of Seth and me in it. My apartment where I have my own morning routine, my own bed, my own shower, my own toothpaste (they use nasty Arm and Hammer toothpaste that feels like sand on my teeth, ugh, it’s gross, and I hate it), my own apartment where I can do whatever I want when I want, how I want. My apartment that has my own computer, my own things.

Most of all, I miss my pictures of Seth. On the nightstand, I have a few different pictures of us that are the first thing I see in the morning when I wake up. One is a picture of us kissing in a picture frame that says LOVE. I remember taking that picture so clearly…it was the evening before he went back to Iraq and we walked to the park and held hands, and he told me he was “in like” with me. I also have a few other pictures of him on my night stand…one of him in Iraq in a HUMVEE (I’m guessing), and he’s dressed in all his gear and he wrote on the back that he was going out to a FOB. He sent me this picture in a little care package for me before we met in person. I also have a picture of us on the morning he left to go back to Iraq and we had just gotten out of the shower and he was making fun of me because I had my hair wrapped up in a pink towel, so he put his little bit of hair up in a towel too. (Little did I know I'd cry so much that day I could have used the towel to absorb my tears instead of multiple boxes of Kleenex...) I also have a picture of him standing in our living room in his uniform when he was home on leave from Iraq and basically I just wanted him to dress up in it because he’s so damn sexy in it, although he dislikes having to wear it when he doesn’t have to. I think it’s funny because he’s wearing a black shirt under the uniform and that is not allowed and he has a very annoyed look on his face and his head is cocked like, “really? I’m dressed up only so you can take a picture of me?” When my alarm goes off in the morning, I roll over and hit the snooze button and then I say good morning to his picture and tell him I hope he’s having a good day and I love him. Before I turn off the light when I sleep, I have a little chat with his picture and tell him I miss him and tell him I wish he were there with me in bed so he can cuddle me and I love him. (Does anyone else talk to their pictures??) Sometimes I even lay the picture on his pillow on the bed and pretend he’s sleeping there, but then I put it back on the nightstand so I don’t roll over it at some point in my sleep and make it wrinkly. I packed a book to read before I go to bed and I exchanged my usual book mark for the picture of him all dressed in his gear in the HUMVEE. I still talk to his picture before I go to bed, but it’s not the first thing I see in the morning when I wake up and I don’t like that. So, I shall now set his picture on my substitute nightstand for the remainder of the week and look at that first thing when I wake up.

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