I attempted to cut Seth’s hair last night. You know, just give it a little trim so he didn’t have to pay $15 to get a haircut. He figured we could save $30/month if I learn to cut his hair. Apparently once upon a time, I made a comment about how it can’t be that hard to cut his hair and he asked if I wanted to go to the PX to get some clippers with him. We stood in the aisle and debated over different clippers and then settled on a set.
Do you KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO DO A FADE TO ARMY STANDARDS?! It’s stupid hard. Seth started this venture out with hair. Now he’s bald. Honestly. That’s how hard it is. I’m not even kidding. He was getting annoyed with me (because helllllo, I’ve never actually GIVEN a haircut according to Army regulations, but it looked easy enough when I’d go to the barber shop with him), and I was getting annoyed with him because he was getting annoyed with me. Then he gave me the Army regulation number that is for the haircut. I practiced fades on his hair for what seemed like eternity (in one evening, mind you) so I can eventually learn it. After practicing (and messing up) fade after fade after fade, he told me to just shave it all off.
But lucky for me, he said we can give it another try this weekend! YAY!!!! Please note my sarcasm. And lucky for him, the evening ended in me in tears because I failed him and his hair cutting needs when he started citing the Army regulations for haircuts. All in an attempt to save a little money.
For the record, he looks much better with hair. This hair. The hair that was all over the bathroom floor. And now in the trash can. Mixed with tears and pride. I'm not a barber. Nor a hair stylist.