The weird thing about being a first time mom going into labor is that you’re unsure. At least I am. Even though I’ve read up on all the signs online, we’ve talked about them in our centering classes, I’ve read about them in the books, my mom has lectured me, doctors have quizzed me…for me, it’s still: is THIS it?
Yesterday I had my 38 week (and 2 day) appointment. Seth and I were taking bets on if I was dilated at all; we both bet I wasn’t. Well well well, what do we know! I’m 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Seriously?!?! I was SHOCKED to hear that. We both were. Prior to getting my cervix checked, the doctor had asked if I wanted my membranes swept…I said heck no, because I’ve been told it’s painful and it’s not a guarantee that it’ll get labor started. Once the doctor said I was 3 cm/50% effaced, she asked again if I wanted them swept. Heck no again! I’m not ready to have him! I am, but I’m not. Now I’m having a mini panic attack. (Plus, I have a long list of things I need to accomplish this weekend!) I feel so unprepared for labor. I feel like I don’t know enough of what to expect. I’m sure part of it is that it’s the first time I’ve ever done this so I’m anxious for the unknown. Right now, as I type this, baby is moving around like crazy and it feels like he’s trying to bust loose, straight out of my belly button. I went pee less than an hour ago and there was a pink tinge to it and it was more mucousy (I’m sincerely sorry for the TMI!!!). What’s that a sign of? Yep, labor. Even though it may still be a few days away, I’m wondering if this is stage one. I’m not having any more contractions than I normally have…at least I don’t think I am. Right now, my brain is cloudy on all the stuff we’ve learned and read about and I’m just unsure.
Seth is ready for him now. Last night we were talking about me being 3 cm/50% effaced already and he said he was ready to meet his son now. I asked him if he was nervous and he said no, he is ready. I'm most nervous about the birth. Ok, and I'm nervous about bringing him home and how the dogs are going to react.
So I’m continuing to work…and blog…because I’m not quite ready (mentally, emotionally, physically…) to push a baby out. Jimney Crickets.