House/pet sitting, spiders and another care package

I am house/pet sitting for a family I babysit for, for the next 7.5 days. I'm really not looking forward to it, but I'm doing it to afford my wedding shoes. That's bad to say, but it's sorta true. They have lots of pets, and I get itchy and my eyes get watery when I spend a long time there. Luckily (actually I don't know if this is lucky or not), they live right next door to my parents, so I'll actually be spending the night at my parents house, and hanging out and going for walks with the animals here and there. I love my parents and all, but I will be so over seeing them by the time the week is over. I'm somewhat dreading it. Parental overload for sureeeeee.

I should really be packing up my stuff right now, but as you can clearly see, I'm not too excited about it so therefore I'm procrastinating. I'm even watching Police Women of Memphis on TLC. I also keep watching a hugeass nasty spider on my balcony screen door. I keep thinking about killing it, but it's rather large and it has pinchers I'm pretty sure. (It's trapped between the glass slider door, and the screen door, so it can't get me right now). It looks to me to be a baby tarantula. It looks furry. I'm no spider expert, but I'm sure it could pass for one. I'm contemplating killing it to death with a shoe, but since it's rather large, I'll have to press pretty hard on my screen door and I don't want to break my hand through it. I don't know if that's even possible, but I don't want to find out. I wouldn't worry too much about this, except I want to spray the bees or wasps or whatever are now building another stupid nest on my balcony railing. I don't want to let this sit for the next week while I'm gone. Lord knows how big the hive will be by then. I'm wondering if I could vacuum up the spider, but then I also think that won't actually kill the spider, which is my ultimate goal, and the spider will eventually crawl out of the vacuum, which brings me back to square one. I would SO make Seth be the killer of spiders and sprayer of the bees of the household, but in his absence, I need to grow some balls, suck it up and kill the damn thing if I'm afraid of it. It's what he'd want me to do anyways. It's just that this one is bigger than other ones I've seen.

On the bright side, I went to the post office and mailed Seth some care packages again. This time, I got another newish lady. It always amazes me that with how often I go in there, they've recently just begun asking me about Seth a little bit. I've been going to the same post office for over 2.5 years and for the most part, it's been the same staff members. This lady, Deanna, was pretty nice. She was talking to me about "support groups" (for lack of a better word) for military spouses in our area, which I have yet to find, and how there is an older lady who comes in very frequently and her church collects and donates stuff to military members. Deanna said she would try to ask the lady if she knows of support groups in our area. Deanna also asked if I needed more boxes, and I told her I had plenty of home, and she said that I could get the special, "America Supports You" flat rate boxes that aren't just out for taking. I guess they have to be specially asked for. So she hauled out a huge box with 25 large flat rate boxes!! She gave me the whole box! I'm so excited for this. She thanked me for Seth's service too. She said that when she was younger, she dated a guy in the military and he was in Vietnam and she said it makes her teary eyed (which I could see in her eyes) when she remembered sending him care packages, and being separated from him. So, I like her. Tis what my life consists of.

I'm going to kill the stupid spider now and then start packing I suppose. Time to get my ass in gear.

Wedding progress

Yesterday was the day of the week that I was most excited for! I took off from work at noon, and met some family friends at my parents house. They were coming to town from the other side of the state and we were going to the wedding location! I’ve known D since I was 5 years old, and her son and I met in kindergarten…21 years ago. Her daughter is a few years younger than me, but she’s like a little sister and she’ll be a bridesmaid. D’s mom, nana, came with also. Nana and I have a lot in common (she married an MP in the 50’s or 60’s, and up and moved her life to be with him in Ansbach, Germany) and she absolutely LOVES to talk about the wedding. Of course I do too, and she is the only person (other than my own mom) who doesn’t get tired of talking about it. I was super excited for going to the place because I’ve only seen pictures of it in summer time. When I found it online, I went immediately to see it then. In January. And it’s an outdoor location. And it snows quite a bit here. So I was anxious to see it in all its glory and see in real life how it will be next July when we get married there!! It was a bonus that there was a rehearsal going on when we were there, so I was able to watch how they did it. So we were driving there and everyone was talking in the car, and Nana basically yelled for everyone to stop talking, and she said in her sweet little voice, “Stacy, what progress have we made on the wedding since last time we talked? But before you answer that, please tell me how Seth is.” It was so sweet that she was concerned with how he is doing more than the wedding. As much as I enjoy talking about the wedding and talking about him (sharing stories) in general, it always makes me happy when someone, who hasn’t even met him, cares enough to ask how he’s doing. After I told her how he’s doing and what he’s up to, we resumed the wedding talk.

There was someone coordinating the rehearsal, and I asked John, one of the co-owners of the place, if they had a wedding coordinator. He said usually the pastor is the one who coordinates the wedding. (Oh, that’s good to know, I wouldn’t have guessed that and I was somewhat stressing over how it would all go smoothly). He also told me that the DJ keeps the reception going smoothly and somewhat coordinates that as well. That too was good to know, because I was curious how all that stuff played out since we definitely aren’t having a wedding planner. We walked all around the grounds, saw the waterfalls (and the koi fish in the ponds at the bottom of the waterfalls), and the flowers, trees and big open grass areas, and the river, and the little walking bridge, and the pavilion where the reception will be. Seth had made it a point to let me know he prefers round tables at the reception (I hadn’t really thought about what shape of tables we’d have), and John only had long rectangular tables. He said that lots of people put two rectangular tables together to create more of a square shape. John said if we wanted round tables, we’d have to get it from an outside vendor. I had been researching this and it was going to be a few hundred dollars to get tables, linens, and also delivery for this. But John informed me that they will be purchasing round tables for next season, and they’ll also have linens available. There will be a small charge, but it will be worth it. We talked about the seating chart a little bit, and Nana and him talked about the flowers and the amount of time he spends on them. John showed me a new listing of decorating things we can pay for, and there is some tooling on the ceiling. Nana thought this was very pretty and thought that we definitely needed it so she gave me a $50 bill to put in our wedding fund to get that done. She also told me that if I ever need any help financially paying for this, to please please please let her know. She never had the big dream wedding that every girl dreams of, and she wants to make sure that doesn’t happen to me. She said that she doesn’t cook food anymore, but she wants to help out in any way that she can, even if it’s financially. After that, we headed home (and stopped for some ice cream, I might add), recharged Nana’s electric scooter that died while she was driving it up hill, and then we went to the Casino for a night of hanging out, eating, gambling and people watching. D’s son, J, who I met in kindergarten, works at one of the restaurants in the casino so we ate at his restaurant. J hugged us when we got there, his mom, nana, my parents and me, and one of the hostesses that was there, asked if I was J's girlfriend. I didn’t hear this part, but my parents and D did. If only he were so lucky…he had his chance back in kindergarten! Ha. Really though, if I would have heard this, I would have kindly had to tell her that my fiancé wasn’t there with me because he is deployed. I love telling people who Seth is and where he's at. It makes me proud. So we ate; it was a buffet and Friday nights are unlimited crab legs and prime rib (I don’t care for either), and then we went to gamble. (Last time I was at the casino, we went in December after Seth came home from Germany, and we went with his brothers and sisters, parents, and grandma, and my parents. When we got there last time, my dad had dropped me, my mom and Seth off at the door, and he was going to go park the car. Seth opted to go with him to park the car, and I later found out that this was when Seth was going to ask for my dad’s permission to marry me. Seth later told me this, and then said that my dad was talking about something else and Seth didn’t have a chance to ask. Haha I can only imagine what was going through Seth’s mind when my dad was talking!!!) My dad and I don’t gamble, we don’t really get it, and as he said, “if I’m going to waste my money, I’d rather it go to the public schools (lottery tickets), rather than the Indians.” This was a very valid point, especially since we both work at a public school district. So we walked around and peopled watched. Man, casinos are really the best places for people watching.

I really wished Seth was there with us. I would have liked to have a date night with him there, and then go watch him gamble. He’s better at gambling that I ever will be so I just watch him. It’s fun though. I was thinking about the last time we were there together, and going to this table, or that table, or this bar or that one. And it always sucks seeing other couples so lovey-fucking-dovey in love and I can’t have that right now. It’s just annoying and makes me more lonely sometimes. Although I wouldn’t trade him, or what we have for the world, it just makes me miss him more and wish that we could have regular date nights.

All in all, it was a very good and successful day doing wedding stuff. It’s about 11.5 months till the wedding and I can’t wait as we get closer and closer!

Life's a Chore

I love my lunchtime group of girls. We always have the best talks, and for the most part, they are all 10-30 years older than me. Mind you, none of these are military wives (although one was back in the day, however, her husband never deployed and he only joined as an officer so he wouldn’t get drafted, and they never spent a significant amount (longer than a month) of time apart). I walk by and “pick up” my two good friends S and E on my way up the stairs to the lunchroom. We meet a few other girls from other departments and our conversations vary every single day. We share advice, funny stories, vacation stories, family gossip, talk about their kids and grandkids, (sometimes there is crying involved – ok that was only one time and it was me, but whatever) and very rarely do we actually talk about work-work. It’s just like it’s understood that for our 45-60 minute lunch break, we don’t talk about work, and we’re all in a silent agreement about this. Sometimes one will oftentimes complain about their husband. Even my work best friend S onetime said, as her husband was preparing to go to Vermont for a week for a conference and he was trying to make sure everything was in order for while he was away, “sometimes it’s just easier when I have to do everything myself, and not take his schedule into consideration.” She immediately shot me a look that conveyed, “I’m sorry, I’m sure you’d rather have it the other way around.” We didn’t say anything about it afterwards, but I know she didn’t say that intentionally to get to me.

But today was one of those days where what we were talking about got to me. Somehow we got on the topic of household chores, and what is their ‘chore’, and what is their husbands ‘chore.’ Most of the girls agreed that while their husbands take out the trashcan, why can’t he also remember to put a bag in the trash can? Or when he uses the last of the toilet paper, why can’t he put a new roll on? Or when he uses the last bit of the shampoo, or soap, or toothpaste, or the last Q-Tip, why can’t he replace or refill what was there? And how annoying it is that he can do half of the chore, and then leave her to do the other half?

I wish I could be complaining about how Seth empties the trash, but doesn’t put a bag in it. I would so badly love it if I could say how much he was annoying me and I just want to get away from him for a day or so. I wish I could complain about how he leaves his dirty dishes in the sink, or his dirty socks on the floor. I wish I could bitch at him to help me out around the house. I wish I could just get some help from him on the chores period. But no, I can’t. Know why? Because he’s deployed for a whole year, so I get to do this all myself, day after day, week after week, with no help. Luckily kids aren’t involved, so it really is all my ‘mess’, but even so, I would give anything to have his mess at home with mine. I would give anything to be able to eat dinner with him every night and have to do his dishes, and even his laundry. I would give anything to be able to argue with him over who does what household chore.

I would give anything to have him be able to come home right now.

On a random side note, "chore" is a really weird word if you think about it. It sounds weird. It's only one syllable. It looks weird. It's actually a stupid word now that I think of it.

Aches and Pains

I have not been sleeping well lately. I don’t know why, but it’s been annoying. I have been going to bed at around my usual time of 10, and I’m just not tired. I’ve been reading, and usually reading puts me to sleep pretty fast when I’m all cozied up in my bed, but I’ve been reading for almost an hour lately. I’ve been awake reading until after 11, which is really late for me. I’ve also been waking up with a sore neck…like I feel when I’m under a lot of stress. This too is annoying and I’m about ready to call my friend Laura and book a massage with her (she went to massage school). I don’t feel more stressed than normal , so I don’t know why I’m not sleeping well, and waking up all sore.

I do know that I am so over this. And I’m also my wisdom teeth that are coming in on the top and bottom.

It's August. Holy Crap.

I’m excited for this week. Mostly I’m excited for Friday though. Here’s what I’m doing this week:

• Going to World Market to get fresh vanilla beans so I can start brewing the vanilla extract with the vodka I bought yesterday.
• Dropping off my favorite pair of black heels to get fixed so I can wear them again come fall.
• Go shopping for Seth and get him some mouse traps. He specifically requested the “snappy” kinds, not the glue/sticky kinds.
• Mail out care package with above item, and other things. Maybe some cookies for his friend. We’ll see.

And last but certainly not least, on Friday, I’m going to take a half day and go to the wedding ceremony/reception site in the afternoon! I have long time family friends coming into town and they really want to see the location, so we’re going to do a little shopping in the afternoon and then head to the site. It turns out that there is a 3:00 rehearsal on Friday afternoon, so I’m excited to silently stalk that from afar! I’m always open to ideas.

Also throw in a few times at the gym, a few hours at the pool. Oh, I also begin house sitting on Saturday, so that’ll be some extra money in my pocket for the wedding. Specifically it will be spent on wedding shoes.

Deployment donut says 33% today!! Slowly but surely...

Challenge Day

A few years ago, I had the privilege of participating in Challenge Day at our alternative high school. There’s a new show on MTV called, “If You Really Knew Me” and it’s based on Challenge Day. I was excited for the show and tonight I saw the first episode.

Here’s a small portion of Challenge Day. This is the analogy that they use in person at Challenge Day and on the show. Compare yourself to an iceberg. About 10 % of an iceberg sticks out of the top of the water. There is still 90 % of the iceberg underneath the water. The 10% is what you project to others, your appearance, your personality…what you want people to know about you. The rest of the 90% is the real you, the deep emotions that you probably don’t ever share with people, the stuff you keep inside. There’s a part of Challenge Day were we do a “If you really knew me” circle. This is where you say, “if you really knew me…..” and finish the sentence with whatever you feel people don’t know about you. It’s about sharing your feelings and making your emotions known, so you know you’re not the only one who is going through that. There are lots of kids who are going through a rough time, but they only project the happy part of their life…typical of kids. Only show people the outside, happy go lucky part of you. Challenge Day brings people together because of the things we’ve experienced.

Challenge day was GREAT. If you ever ever ever have an opportunity to participate in Challenge Day, I highly recommend it. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I was asked if I could participate. I think it was less than a year after I had been at my current job, and my coworker Sarah asked if I could be a volunteer for it. I’d never even heard of it before, but she gave me a small background and said they needed “facilitators.” I agreed to do it and little did I know what I was getting myself into. I went in there completely blind. I came out of the extremely long and emotional day with a red nose, puffy eyes, and emotionally exhausted. I was a facilitator, which meant I was like a co-leader of our group of students. There was another guy who was a co-leader in our group of 5 or so students. We were the ones to get things started in our group of kids, and all of us in the group shared stories that made us, and the rest of our group cry. We were at the alternative high school, which is typically students who have troubled lives at home, get kicked out of school for this or that, end up in juvie or whatever. So we had some really deep issues in our group and it broke my heart to hear about these kids, who were high schoolers, and what they had to deal with at such a young life. They shared that their parents had been in and out of jail, they’d never met one of their parents, their dad beat their mother, a parent was into hard core drugs, the child had been sexually or physically abused, kids were made fun of for this or for that, teen pregnancies, etc. etc. etc. The list went on and on. (This wasn’t all in my group, but these were some things that were shared from all of the kids who were participating).

I’ve lived a fairly sheltered life, and I have a good home life. I grew up with both parents in the house, and they were loving and supportive and encouraging of each other and of us kids. I’ve never had to deal with hard core drugs, or abuse of any sort, or abandonment.

This is only the tip of all of Challenge Day, and sometimes I still think to myself when I’m going through a rough time, “man, I could really use a Challenge Day and get the love and support of others.”

You can find out more here and again, if you ever get the opportunity to participate in Challenge Day, I promise you will not regret it. I really do think that every single person can benefit from participating in Challenge Day.

How would you finish the sentence, “if you really knew me….”?

Alcohol laws

Today I went grocery shopping. I went in the morning instead of the afternoon and it's Sunday and I forgot about the stupid Michigan law that says alcohol cannot be purchased before noon on Sundays. I was buying a bottle of vodka so I can start brewing (I don't know if that's the right term, but I'm using it anyways) my own vanilla extract...as a little trial run for our wedding favors. The lines were long as hell and I of course do not like waiting so I hopped between 3 lanes so I didn't have to stand in long lines. On the 3rd lane, it was about 11:53 and the cashier was taking his sweet time, which was rather annoying to me. I had my license out so he could check it, but he wasn't ringing up the bottle. Towards the end of him scanning the groceries, it was 11:57 and he picked up the bottle and he looked at his watch and said, "I'm just going to draw the rest of the scanning out because I can't run the alcohol through the scanner until after noon." Ahhhhh SHIT. There was a girl behind me and I told her sorry that she'd have to wait a few more minutes. Luckily it was only a few minutes, and we got to talking (me, the girl behind me and the cashier) and I told them I was going to make vanilla extract with it. We were literally counting down the seconds until 12:00:01 and it still wouldn't let him scan it. He had to wait until 12:01 for it to let him scan it. He said the scanners literally will not let alcohol be scanned before noon, he said it is a restricted item, and it starts beeping, and doesn't allow the cashier to override it.

We had to wait about 3 minutes total, and if i would have just been patient in the long lines, I wouldn't have had to make the girl behind me wait also. At least she was cool about it.

I have the alcohol but no vanilla beans so really it didn't matter how long I waited. However, my goal this week is to find some vanilla beans so I can start brewing this stuff.