Waiting and waiting....

It's approximately 11:53 AM right now and I should be getting my weekly call within 2 hours. I give myself until about 2 PM on Sundays to wait for his call and during that time, I limit my activities. I don't want to put myself in a position of no cell phone service and therefore miss his call. So I wait; sometimes I do a little work out, sometimes I do laundry, sometimes I clean, sometimes I shower (sometimes I don't), sometimes I go grocery shopping early in the morning when I know the probability of him calling is slim to none. However, the last few weeks, he has been calling a little closer to noon than 1:30, so I don't know what to expect today.

But this morning, I've been still catching up on her blog. I didn't let myself read it yesterday because I didn't want to be crying and show up to the BBQ having to explain my puffy eyes and red nose. They wouldn't understand anyways. So I just didn't read it. However, I did read one post last night before I went to bed, but then I caught up on the rest this morning. On Friday night, I left off prior to her March postings, because March was the month of the "accident," as she calls it. This morning I read her March and April postings though. I've been crying and I have a bright red nose and puffy eyes. Cool. I've stopped reading now though, because I know my love will be able to hear it in my voice that I've been crying, from even some 6,000 or 7,000 miles away and he'll ask me why I've been crying. (And when I try to lie and tell him I haven't been crying, he'll tell me to not lie to him and to just tell him why. Damn, he's good.) I don't want to explain it to him either, I don't think it's a good idea for me to talk about other fallen soldiers when he himself is deployed, and in an active war zone. So, the more time I have of getting back my normal, non-crying voice, the better it is for both of us.

The BBQ was fun last night. Of course, it would have been 23020839 times more fun if he were there with me, but I digress. Such is life, and we all make sacrifices. I made a raspberry pretzel jello-y salad, which is always a hit. I reversed the middle and top layer though, and I put the white layer on top, and then made it into a pretty flag pattern. I was so friggin' excited to show it off, but I didn't have the heart to cut into it myself. So I made someone else do it. It was just too pretty. Now, I know it doesn't have the 50 blueberry stars, and the 7 raspberry red stripes, but I was limited on space, so I had to work with what I could. Please don't find this offensive. We had a little bit of fire works, rode the quads, hung out, and then had a bonfire and made s'mores. My mom found some extra huge marshmallows, seriously like 3 times bigger than regular big marshmallows. I was playing "chubby bunnies" with my friend, and I was determined to fit 2 in my mouth. I had a hard enough time fitting one in my mouth, but I was determined. My mom was taking pictures of us playing "chubby bunnies" and she made the comment, something along the lines of, "no wonder he is marrying her! she can fit so much into her mouth!!!" Thanks, mom, for declaring that in front of like 8 people. It's not like I was deep throating them, I was just stuffing them into my cheeks. Funny thing is, though, when I was stuffing them in, I wanted to fit 2 in there to make him proud. haha I just wasn't going to share that with the whole group!

Here's my dessert!!! (I guess looking at this picture, I need to work on straightening my stripes. There's always next time....)


After our phone call, my only plans for the day involve going to the pool and working on my tan. It's supposed to be hella nice today and I'm excited to do nothing. Again, I really wish he were here to do nothing with me, but I shall digress. Again. I'm missing him extra lots right now.

Oh, and sorry for all the misspellings and incorrect grammar in my last post; as I said in it, I was in the back of my parents car on my cell phone and it was a bumpy road and my fingers were flying all over my tiny keyboard and well, I was mad.

12:21 and BAM GUESS WHO IS CALLING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow, I'm good!!!! Talking to him now and my voice isn't cry-y!!!

i'm mad

I'm mad today. I packaged up a care package, actually 2 last night. Today I went to the post office to mail it this morning and sure enough the post office closed early because its a holdiday weekend. I got there at exactly 12:04. So now I have to wait until tuesday to send it out. What sucks even more is that my friend amy and I have coordinating packages for the guys. Her hubs adked if we could get them a percolator coffee maker so she asked I'd get the coffee and some travel mugs for them. We planned to send them at the same time in hopes that they'd get there at the same time (I know hopeful thinking), and she mailed out the coffee maker today and the damn post office was closed so I cvant send them the coffee they need. Ugghhhhh can't the postal workers work for 5 extra minutes so I could mail it out to freaking The Stan. Its already takes 2 weeks to get there. SHhhheeeshhhhh

In other happier news, I got a wake up call from my lover today! It was great and I was totally out and I needed to be up. He wanted to tell me he got the 4th box from a group of students who donated it.he hasn't called to wake me up on a weekend morning since he deployed so it was a nice surprise to hear his voice first thing.

Nowim off to a bbq for the day and I'm blogging from the back of my parents car. I'm already addicted to blogging.

Happy 3rd of july!

Ok, so.....

I've been completely obsessed with this one blog. I discovered it today and I won't admit to how many hours I've devoted to reading tonight, and catching up on her life story since she started her blog. It's from a fellow military spouse, and she's so real, and so honest, and funny, and unfortunately her husband was killed in Afghanistan just a few short months ago. I can't imagine what she's going through, but my heart goes out to her and her newborn daughter. I started reading her most recent posts, and then realized I needed to know the rest of her story, so I went to her very first post and I've been addicted. Does that make me sound like a creep? Oh well.

I'm still fairly new to this milspouse business and the military in general, and I've not "known" someone who has had a loved one killed in action. Needless to say, it's got me a bit freaked out. I can't help thinking of the worst possible things right now. These thoughts can literally consume you. Honestly. I KNOW he's in the military and he's currently deployed and I KNOW what could happen to him, but I can't let myself think like that the whole time he's deployed. I think I do a fairly good job of thinking positive, but right now, after reading that, it's sorta hard. I know I probably shouldn't read stuff like this right now, or read news articles about things going on where my soldier is at, but I can't help it. They have for the majority of my evening. If I hear the town where he's at in the news, I have to read the article or stop what I'm doing and watch the news clip. If I don't know where the town is compared to where my soldier is at, I have to look it up on Google Earth. I've cried at the majority of her posts, just insanely sad for her loss, and sad for the loss of the dad of their child she gave birth to while he was deployed and he never had a chance to meet. It breaks my heart to think about that.

On a related note, in between catching up on her life story, I made a care package for my love. I got him some boxers (what guy doesn't need some new ones once in a while?) and he said he loved them and asked if I could get him more. So off I went to get him some more. I even go as far as to wash them up, and put them in a ziplock baggy so they are fresh with the smell of laundry detergent from home. I also had a free $15 coupon at Banana Republic, his all time favorite store, and boxers there are $16 for one pair. Pretty expensive in our books, so he's never had a pair. So I got him a pair. He'll have the most stylish boxers under his (sexy) ACU's. And let me just add that I cannot begin to explain how excited I am to rip those boxers off of him. Well, I won't literally be ripping them off of him, because even though I technically spent about $1 on them, they still cost $16 and no way am I about to rip those. I also got him a magazine, lots of coffee, some peanuts, a few travel mugs, and a few handwritten letters. I also included a new installation of our newlywed game show questions, and I can't wait to see his answers this time. God I love him.

Who am I?!?

I figure I should reveal a little about myself so you can know who you’re dealing with. Not that we’re really “dealing” with each other, but you know, a little history of who writes this sometimes crazy crap.


In no particular order…(except the first bulleted item on the "I love" list...loving him is better than all the other "loves" put together).

I love:

• My soldier :)
• The Army
• Shopping, specifically for shoes
• Planning our amazing wedding
• Traveling, specifically to Germany and Alaska
• Foreign cars (for the record, just because I prefer foreign cars and feel they are built better than American cars, this does not make me any less “American” than people that only buy American cars. I’m sorry that certain American cars don’t run nearly as long as foreign cars; furthermore, I’m sorry you’ve not realized this and you’ll probably go through 2-3 American cars before I get my second foreign car).
• Baking
• Computers
• Texting
• Coloring Easter eggs
• iTunes radio
• Making care packages
• Countdowns
• Family
• Writing queries (most of the time)
• Pun jokes!
• Phone calls from my future husband that wake me up on weekend mornings when we’re apart
• Target
• Organization and order
• Working out (except when a deployment first starts, then I don’t love this, but I eventually get back into my routine)
• Camping and being outdoors
• The Newlywed Game Show with Carnie Wilson
• Reading other blogs
• Cold coffee
• Whales
• Taking pictures
• Baby marine animals
• Holidays
• Long island iced tea

I Dislike:

• Deployments
• The current economy
• The Army – yes, this is on both the love/dislike list.
• Planning our wedding….all by myself.
• When it’s barely raining and windshield wipers are on full speed
• That I’m really good at procrastination
• When you’re in the car with someone and all they do is talk on their cell phones. Or more importantly, when they YELL on their cell phone no matter where they are at
• Annoying ring tones
• Spiders and bugs
• Cupboard doors left open
  Dirty windows (yes, this includes dirty glasses, the kind that give me 4 eyes…the kind I wear on my face)
• Dirty mirrors
• The oil spill in the Gulf
• Being apart, on the military’s time schedule, not our own
• People who are younger than me and feel like they can tell me what to do
• Self absorbed people
• That I swear so much
• Holidays that we are forced to spend apart, courtesy of the Army
• Construction that is currently taking place at work and vibrating steamrollers

I can’t wait to:

• Get married to the love of my life! Only one year and 14 days to go!!!
• Go back “home” to Germany and welcome my soldier “home” after a long 12 months in The ‘Stan
• Experience military life to the fullest. As of right now, I’ll say I’m excited for our first PCS. Disclaimer: that excitement will probably fade once he gets our orders and we dislike our new duty station. But for now, I am excited
• Have little babies with my soon to be husband. He will be the best daddy ever and I can’t wait!!
• Grow old with him
• Finish planning our wedding and see the final outcome
• Hear the news that my soldier has been promoted. It will be next month or the following month
• Spend our first 4th of July together and watch fireworks. On the beach. Eventually with our kids. (This is still a good 2 years away).

According to my soon to be husband, these are just a few of the reasons he wants to marry me:

• I’m funny and nice
• I’m quirky, like him
• We have similar life plans, such as kids and goals
• I have nice boobs
• He loves being with me, even when doing nothing in particular
• I like doing outside stuff, going camping, going boating, canoeing
• I’m not a bitch, and I never will be
• I’m a genuine, good person
• I like to snuggle up at night with a glass of wine and watch a movie (a.k.a. sleep) on the couch
• I like to dream of the future…with him
• I’ll be a good mom
  

Making wedding progress...

I just officially reserved our wedding photographer! I really like her work, obviously. What really sold me though, was that for the package we are getting, we get some super cool things, such as a DVD Montage and a coffee table book. I am mostly excited for the DVD montage!! It’s a photo slide show that is about 30-45 minutes long, and we get to choose 15-20 songs, and then she puts our pictures with our music!!! I honestly will watch this ALL the time. I’m the type that would totally have it playing in the background while I’m cleaning, just listening to it and to our songs, and looking at a picture here and there. The coffee table book is a hard cover, custom designed book with our pictures. It’s 12 X 12 and it has about 300 pictures, and it’s a book that will, well, go on the coffee table. No, it will not be used a coaster.

We also get two photographers in the package we are getting; they are a husband/wife team, and the husband stays with our guys, and the wife stays with us girls for the day, and they both have different approaches to photography. She has a photojournalistic approach and he has a candid approach. We also get some editing and processing of the pictures, and touchups, and black/white and sepia pictures, and a brides album which is a black leather album with about 300 of our best pictures. We also get a CD released to us with all of our photos from the day and we can do whatever we want with it, such as make more prints, or make copies for family or whatever. She’s also been in the business for 18 years now.

I get all this, and a little bit more that I’m not listing, all for a very reasonable $1,645. I found another guy in our area and he started at $1,700 and all that was included in that price was his photography skills for the day. It didn’t include any printed pictures (those started at another $245), any DVD video, a back-up photographer, or any picture album. I really liked his work, but his price and what was included didn’t even compare to the lady we selected. (Plus, he’s really young; younger than me, so he doesn’t have a track record nearly as big as hers). Photographers are freaking expensive. I thought he was a great deal, because all the others are around $2,500 for very basic packages. We’re going with this lady and getting the “elite” package and we’re getting a shitton for the less than other people start out.

My soldier wasn't there for the consultation, and I told her where he was at. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression and think that he just didn't care, so he didn't want to go. Even though he doesn't care much for his photograph being taken, I know he would have liked to go with me to the consultation. In her email back to me, she said she wishes my fiance a safe return, and she looks forward to meeting him. :)

Now, if only July 16, 2011, would hurry up and get here!!! 12 1/2 months until we can put her to good use, and I'll have a new favorite DVD to watch!

Weird phone call

My soldier called me the other day. It wasn't our normal Sunday talking date, so it always makes me a little nervous when he calls during the week. He actually called twice and I answered the first time, but I couldn’t hear anything. I kept saying “hello? Are you there? I can’t hear you. Helllllo, SETHHHHHH?” And then I heard a male voice with a heavy middle eastern accent. I suddenly said in a very serious tone, “HELLO?” then whoever mumbled something else again, and then the line cut out. My stomach sank, my heart dropped…whatever that saying is. I said a quick little prayer to make sure everything was OK with Seth. The first thing that went through my head was that he’d been held hostage and they were using the phone to torment me. Not sure why they’d call me, but that’s the thought that went through my head. I don’t even know if they would use the soldier’s phone to call someone, but regardless, it was a horrible, horrible feeling.

This is the reason why he can’t tell me certain things over the phone: because it’s a bold reminder that he’s in Afghanistan and he has an Afghanistan cell phone and you never know if the line is being tapped. Anyways, he called me back, and after I said “hello?” twice, he said hey. He said he was in his tent, in his bed. I was thankful for that, and he just wanted to tell me hi. I think he was having one of those days where he just wanted to talk to me.

Got Parkinson's?

Ok, there's nothing funny about having Parkinson's, so I’m sorry in advance if this is offensive.

I saw a bus just like this one in the mall parking lot the other day, and after recognizing what looks like the Canadian Leaf thingy (I’m not Canadian, for the record), I immediately thought to myself (and started laughing hysterically): “I bet it was a shaky ride from Canada!!”

I'm probably going to hell now. BRB!